Friday, May 18, 2012

The new me

For quite sometime I have been hearing this question, "What's going to happen when you leave?"  My plan has always been to organize the administrative roles to this home and then find the capable people to carry them on.  I have finally replaced my role and am ready to come home!

Yanira is the new Director of Operations and she has wonderfully and swiftly take on most of my responsibilities and more.  She is smart, calm, respectful and capable.  I really, really, really, REALLY like her!  Hiring and training her has given me a great feeling about all the work that I've done down here and now I get to pass the baton to someone else (more capable).  It's so relieving and refreshing! 

Looking back, so much has happened and I've learned a lot about myself:  good, bad and ugly.  I'd like to think that I will be forever changed for the good.  I also value the way God has created me just as I am and that He can use His creation in ways that benefit him.  I am amazed that He sustained me the way that He did, although certain times more difficult than others, but over all He has the power to cover our weaknesses with His strength and grace, that's something that is still hard for me to believe.

I have never experienced having a heart for children like I have had here.  I once heard someone say that they felt "Jesus' heart for others" overcome them.  It wasn't until this experience that I can admit to sharing those same feelings.  I feel so much love for these kids and it warms my heart to see the little sweet things they do and hear the little sweet things they say.  I find much joy participating in their lives and getting a front row seat to seeing their development.  I know that I will see children differently when I return, in my classroom, in my family and the ones I haven't met yet that God will place in my life. 

I am a teacher at heart and have a strong desire to return to the classroom and have the platform to teach every single day.  The best part of my administrative role here is being able to teach SOMEONE ELSE to do it!  I'm not quite sure how God will use this part of the experience in my future but He always promises to use things for good.  It has stretched me to learn new things outside of comfort zone, to be diligent with details and responsible for SOO much and to work in an environment that challenges me and goes against the grain of how I have lived my life for so long. 

I am ready to come home.  I feel very strongly that God has placed a certain child on my heart and my heart breaks as I think about being separated from him.  I met him a little over a year ago and ever since then I have been contemplating my role in his life.  I have gone through so many emotions and thoughts in this past year but finally have decided to try to adopt him.  I look forward to doing this when I come home.  There is a ton of work, waiting and expenses ahead of me but I have peace that this is the next step in my journey.  God bless!