Many Pieces. One Puzzle

Thanks to everyone who sponsored a puzzle piece!  This helped me to raise the $2,000 I needed to send in the contractual agreement to get things started!  There is still a long road ahead but I'm grateful for all that helped with the first step!  Now, it's onto the home study...

A Piece of the Puzzle

This photo was made into a puzzle.  It has 252 pieces.  I would like to ask you to help me put the pieces together to realize an adoption. 

Sun rising behind the volcano at La Puerta del Diablo. 

This view happens every morning in El Salvador!

Each piece of the puzzle can be "sponsored" for $10.  Your name will be written on the backside of the piece.  As the pieces are sponsored, the puzzle will take shape once piece at a time.  Once the puzzle is completed, it will be framed (for viewing on both sides) and displayed in my home. 

There are so many pieces and parts to an international adoption and it really takes a lot of support to make this happen.  Thank you for your consideration in being a piece to the puzzle!


"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."  James 1:27

You can donate $10 by clicking Donate on the PayPal button (right column of this blog) or you can send a check to my address.  Email me at: senoritamas@gmail.com for my address.

Adoption

Short Version:  In April of 2011, I met a child that touched my heart like never before and now I am pursuing an international adoption.  The cost is estimated to be $20,000.  I need to raise funds to begin the process.  If you would like to help - one way is to click on the PayPal donate button (right column of this blog).  Read on below if you'd like to know more of the story :)

My story:

All of my adult life I have wanted to be married and have a family. Throughout my twenties I was plagued with insecurities about why I had such a hard time making that happen. I coped by telling myself that I cannot sit around waiting and that I should make the time that I have now purposeful so that when I look back, I will be happy with how I spent my single years. My attitude of purposeful singleness grew in my thirties. About four years ago I fasted for forty days and felt the Lord telling me to get myself in financial shape to be able to leave everything behind when the call to be a missionary came. I did that and two years later, I felt the call. Because I had prepared, I was able to go.  Now I am returning from two years of mission work - carrying a new mission in my heart.

A little over a year ago, a very special child arrived at the children's home where I was volunteering. He is the most special child I have ever met. Over the months I have developed a very special relationship with him. He is not hard to love, in fact, he teaches me everyday how to love. I find him to be a teacher of pure, raw love that isn't scared, wounded or selfish. He is filled with joy and hope every single day. I have dedicated a large portion of my time to being his advocate because he is a child with special needs. He uses canes to help him walk. After learning more about his family situation, I have decided that I would like to adopt him.

This decision was hard to come about because at first I didn't think I could take care of a special needs child. Then I was saddened by the thought that I would be a single parent. However, the more time I spent with this child, the more my confidence built and I suddenly found myself on the verge of tears thinking about what life would be like without him in it. I prayed for many months and sought out opinions of trusted friends and family members. I felt such encouragement and confirmation that there was no turning back. I claimed Isaiah 58:10 “If you spend yourself in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness and your night will become like the noonday.”

I want to spend myself satisfying the needs of this child. I feel that my investment could completely change his future to one of independence and that he would be able to live a life in which he can work and have his own family. I do not believe he would have such a future living in a developing country that does not have the same resources for special needs children.

An international adoption is very complicated, lengthy and expensive. There are agency, immigration, home study and translation costs involved that usually come to $20,000. Here is a list of agency program fees and other estimated costs:

1. Signed adoption agreement: $2,000
2. Dossier submission: $7,250
3. Referral: $3,750
4. Immigration: $1,200 (estimated)
5. Travel: $2,000 (estimated)
6. Medical: $400 (estimated)
7. Home Study: $1,500 (estimated)
8. Translations: $2,000-$3,000 (estimated)




I have served as a missionary for two years without a salary but God has provided for my every need and then some through faithful financial supporters. I have no doubt that He will provide for this situation that I am positive He has placed on my heart to pursue. My prayer is that God would be glorified through this adoption and that He will use it for His name in ways that are too awesome for me to fathom!

In Jesus name.


*PayPal is set up to accept donations for this adoption.  They deduct a small percentage to manage the money.  If you'd like to donate in another way, I am setting up a separate bank account for this purpose.  Once the agency has received a certain amount of money they will provide an account to which monies can be directly donated to them.  Thanks again for considering supporting this adoption. 

Inner Peace

My last week at Love & Hope Children's Home has been quite a whirlwind. I don't think anything could have prepared me for what I experienced and the mad race to the finish. I said goodbyes to: my house and my neighbors, the staff and the office where my desk is empty, my church and church friends, friends of the ministry, Board members, fellow missionaries, and all the precious little ones living at the Home. So many of these goodbyes were filled with pupusas, cake, kind words, hugs and kisses. I drove away this morning with tears in my eyes because I can see more clearly than ever before how God fulfills his promises to give us abundantly more than we can ever imagine.

My little buddy Antonio loves to watch Kung Fu Panda. He doesn't understand the English but he always tells me “Yo soy el tigre!” (I'm the tiger!) and proceeds to make karate chop moves and noises throughout. The panda must learn about “inner peace” in the movie because it will allow him to overcome his flaws and be a better leader. Tonio has picked up these two words and repeats them often. From the actions in the movie he has been able to explain that “inner peace” is “cuando no le duele mas” (when you don't hurt anymore). What a smart fella!

I'm sitting on the plane right now filled with so many emotions as I leave a country that is still developing and a ministry that was once is a fragile state. I have “inner peace” after the two years I have spent pouring my heart into something I knew was a calling from God. It wasn't easy at all. In fact it stretched me in new levels I have never known. In the end, I am amazed – astonished – and overwhelmed by the incredible ways that God has sustained me, allowed me to be used and gave me abundantly more than I could have asked for. It seems like He has given me an “inner peace”, the only place it can come from!

The new me

For quite sometime I have been hearing this question, "What's going to happen when you leave?"  My plan has always been to organize the administrative roles to this home and then find the capable people to carry them on.  I have finally replaced my role and am ready to come home!

Yanira is the new Director of Operations and she has wonderfully and swiftly take on most of my responsibilities and more.  She is smart, calm, respectful and capable.  I really, really, really, REALLY like her!  Hiring and training her has given me a great feeling about all the work that I've done down here and now I get to pass the baton to someone else (more capable).  It's so relieving and refreshing! 

Looking back, so much has happened and I've learned a lot about myself:  good, bad and ugly.  I'd like to think that I will be forever changed for the good.  I also value the way God has created me just as I am and that He can use His creation in ways that benefit him.  I am amazed that He sustained me the way that He did, although certain times more difficult than others, but over all He has the power to cover our weaknesses with His strength and grace, that's something that is still hard for me to believe.

I have never experienced having a heart for children like I have had here.  I once heard someone say that they felt "Jesus' heart for others" overcome them.  It wasn't until this experience that I can admit to sharing those same feelings.  I feel so much love for these kids and it warms my heart to see the little sweet things they do and hear the little sweet things they say.  I find much joy participating in their lives and getting a front row seat to seeing their development.  I know that I will see children differently when I return, in my classroom, in my family and the ones I haven't met yet that God will place in my life. 

I am a teacher at heart and have a strong desire to return to the classroom and have the platform to teach every single day.  The best part of my administrative role here is being able to teach SOMEONE ELSE to do it!  I'm not quite sure how God will use this part of the experience in my future but He always promises to use things for good.  It has stretched me to learn new things outside of comfort zone, to be diligent with details and responsible for SOO much and to work in an environment that challenges me and goes against the grain of how I have lived my life for so long. 

I am ready to come home.  I feel very strongly that God has placed a certain child on my heart and my heart breaks as I think about being separated from him.  I met him a little over a year ago and ever since then I have been contemplating my role in his life.  I have gone through so many emotions and thoughts in this past year but finally have decided to try to adopt him.  I look forward to doing this when I come home.  There is a ton of work, waiting and expenses ahead of me but I have peace that this is the next step in my journey.  God bless!

MOTHERS

When I first started this journey, I was going to be a house mom to 5 children.  I have wanted to have my own family for quite some time and I was so excited about the opportunity!!  I thought about the kids coming home from school in their cute little uniforms and asking them about their day.  Not even 2 months after arriving, we moved into a new house and changed the model.  Now it's a year and a half later and every single child from my group has been returned back to their families (whether we thought ready or not).  Our mission has expanded rapidly into responding to the emergencies of returned children to their families in addition to training up their children.  I didn't have the chance to be a house mom to them.  My desire to be a mom has become stronger by watching children without them desire one.  I have seen with my own eyes how a child can become a different person simply because they know they are wanted by someone, especially their biological parent.  It strikes me as incredibly sad that there are many moms out there who don't want to be or know how to be, and many kids who need them and don't have them.  It's not how God designed family.

Last night a little three year old came up to me in his cute little pijamas and asked, "Can I go to your house tonight?"  He was so cute about it that I had a hard time saying no.  I asked him why he wanted to go and what he would do there.  Then I told him that I didn't have any food at my house.  He suggested that we go get some eggs from the chicken coop below.  He won me over in that moment.  And that's what we did.  I woke up early this morning and as this little one lay on the inflatable mattress all I could think about is what an amazing God we have who made this perfect little creation.  He made him knowing that he would grow up in a children's home, that his family would be disrupted, and that he would have a purpose in this world to serve.  I couldn't help but just stare at him as he slept and thank God for one moment that I could serve as a mother.  And then we ate scrambled eggs together for breakfast.

Today I was on my way to meet a mother to one of our children for the first time.  She had never been involved in her child's life.  Our support team was really nervous about how she would receive us.  The social worker and psychologist gently reminded me not to be direct with her (American Kelly) but to be patient, calm and allow her to feel comfortable with us.  As I prayed on the ride there, I felt this overwhelming sense to "love her".  Just love her.  It doesn't matter where she's been, what she's done or how she treats me, just love her.  We spent 3 hours with this woman and as she told us about her past I felt like I was rooting her on to be a good mom.  She is a wounded person who seems plagued by a bad relationship with her own mother that has prevented her from becoming a good mother to all her children.  She talked about how she wanted to play softball and be a cheerleader in school while growing up but she wasn't allowed to do things like that.  She eventually ended up on the streets.  I thought about how I grew up playing softball and cheering with the band on Friday nights.  I was encouraged.  I was allowed.  I had those same hopes and experienced them.  She didn't.  She cried with us about the wounds her childhood brought her.  Not just because she couldn't participate in school activities but from an upbringing that left her unsatisfied, wanting a different kind of relationship with her mother.  This brokenness left her not knowing how to be the kind of mother she can be to her child.  I teared up, knowing just how much my mother has given me and how much I want to encourage this mother to overcome the generational dysfunction and fight for her children.  It was a pleasant meeting.  I felt much love for her.  I saw first hand the wounds that are so common in this country - broken families and many young mothers who do not know how to have loving relationships with their children and they give up.  It's so sad.  But there is hope, there is a God who loves us, never forsakes us and is unfailing.  He can redeem ANYTHING.  This mother left saying that even though she doesn't have the kind of mother she always wanted, she has three new friends who made her feel loved.  Just love her.  And I did.  Thank you Jesus.   

This is the Day that the Lord has Made

We are always told to rejoice and be glad each and every day.  Some days are easier than others.  Today, we were so blessed because we met with three different people who wanted to donated amazing things to our ministry!  First, one organization was excited to hear about the community outreach that we do and was sure they could help us feed the children in the Platanillo community by purchasing beans, rice, eggs, juice, etc. on a weekly basis.  All the details are still in the works but what a great connection!  Second, we met with a new friend who just recently moved here with her family.  Her husband's business searched for one charity organization in the country to work with and they picked us!!!!!!  They are from the States and are interested in getting really involved with us by doing many projects and activities with the kids.  Today, they helped us improve our recycling program by replacing our homemade bins (which only made it look like we had more trash we weren't throwing out) with 5 new color coded matching containers that make a load of difference!  It was something we needed to do but was never in the budget.  Another American visitor who was a former special needs physical education teacher, came to visit his old friend Tonio.  Robert is great with kids and loves to invent fun physical activities.  He came this afternoon to build a stationary bike that powers a race track with cars and cables for Tonio to practice walking.  We were really blown out of the water by all of these blessings all at once.  Being a part of something special and watching others on the outside do amazing things to be a part of it as well just confirms that God works out all things for good and that he uses His people to get the work done, people of all sorts, shapes, sizes, talents and giftings, He just puts it all together into a beautiful web of giving and receiving that glorifies who He is.  I'm so glad that He chose us to receive these wonderful blessings today!